Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself

Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself
Author: Candace Plattor
Publisher: Being At Choice Consultants
Total Pages: 162
Release: 2016-10-28
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0981385087

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Are you feeling exasperated and helpless about your family member's addiction? Are you at your wit's end, having tried everything you can think of to make them stop? If someone you love is engaging in addictive behaviors such as alcohol and drug misuse, eating disorders, smoking, gambling, Internet addiction, sex addiction, compulsive overspending, or relationship addiction, you are undoubtedly experiencing unpredictability in your relationship. Some of the most common emotions you will experience include: - Guilt and shame - Anger and anxiety - Confusion and powerlessness Whether the addict in your life is your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague, the key to changing this reality for yourself lies in shifting your focus from your loved one's addiction to you own self-care. This book presents a dramatically fresh approach to help you get off the roller-coaster chaos of addiction, maintain your own sanity and serenity, and live your best life.

Helping the Addict You Love

Helping the Addict You Love
Author: Laurence M. Westreich, MD
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2007-04-17
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1416539751

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It's okay to love them. It's your right to help them. Addiction destroys people and can even end lives. When you know or suspect that someone you love is suffering from addiction you have two goals: getting your loved one into treatment and turning that treatment into full-fledged sobriety. Many addiction experts tell you that you have to disengage or risk being an enabler, a codependent bystander, in the wreckage of an addict's life; that you have to cut all ties or be taken advantage of financially and emotionally; that you have to protect yourself from your loved one, who isn't the person you used to know. But many friends and family members find it unnatural, even impossible, to turn away from a person they love who is at his lowest point, and refuse to believe that their addict is lost to addiction. Backed by his years of experience, Dr. Westreich guides you through the process of getting the addict you love on the road to treatment and recovery. He provides detailed scripts to lead you through pivotal conversations with the addict in your life, highlighting the words that he's found to be most effective and the words to avoid. With this book in hand, family and friends will know, for example, how to motivate their addict to recognize his problem based on the addict's own definition of what addiction looks like; how to "raise the bottom" that addicts so often must hit to a more acceptable level -- such as embarrassment, job loss, or ill health; and when to use gentle disagreement, quiet listening, or forceful confrontation to move the addict toward treatment, while managing and protecting their own emotions. Dr. Westreich also shows you how to engage a therapist in the process and provides methods for combating an addict's defense mechanisms. By outlining several treatment options, he helps you to weigh what each can and cannot accomplish, which is the most effective treatment for the kind of addiction you are dealing with, what each treatment requires of the recovering addict and the friend or family member, and how successful each is. Dr. Westreich also takes care to discuss the kinds of special situations you may face when the addict in your life, in addition to having a substance abuse problem, is a minor, is pregnant, has mental or medical diseases, or has other issues that are likely to affect recovery. Helping the Addict You Love is the guide that so many loved ones of addicts have desperately needed. Dr. Westreich supports you through the emotional process of helping the addict you love, tells you it's okay to want to help, and teaches you how to do so.

Loving Someone in Recovery

Loving Someone in Recovery
Author: Beverly Berg
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Total Pages: 159
Release: 2014-02-02
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1608829006

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Recovering addicts are faced with many challenges, and these challenges can often extend to their romantic partners. During the recovery period, couples often struggle with overcoming feelings of betrayal and frustration, and may have a hard time rebuilding trust and closeness. While there are many resources available to recovering addicts, there are limited resources for the people who love them. In Loving Someone in Recovery, therapist Beverly Berg offers powerful tools for the partners of recovering addicts. Based in mindfulness, attachment theory, and neurobiology, this book will help readers sustain emotional stability in their relationships, increase effective communication, establish boundaries, and take real steps toward reigniting intimacy. The material in this book is drawn from the author’s successful Conscious Couples Recovery Workshop. With more than 25 years in the field, she has developed a unique set of exercises that address the issues faced by couples in recovery. This book addresses the roles that both partners play in recovery, and aims to help readers develop a new appreciation for one another and improve self-confidence and acceptance. The road to recovery is never an easy one, but by building a strong support system, the chances of success are exponentially greater. For more information on Berg’s work, visit consciouscouplesrecovery.com

When Someone You Love Is Addicted to Something You Hate

When Someone You Love Is Addicted to Something You Hate
Author: Barbara Ryan
Publisher:
Total Pages: 49
Release: 2021-10-07
Genre:
ISBN:

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Frustrated over love-destroying behaviors in a loved one? Ready to throw in the towel and give up on or divorce your addict? Tired of spending thousands of dollars on treatments that don''t seem to work? Then this book is for you. Written by someone who has lived with an addict in the family for her entire life, this booklet offers a practical, scientific and Biblical approach to help you help your loved one struggling with addiction. It explains the why behind the what of your loved one''s frustrating behaviors and offers a roadmap that will lead to your recovery, and hopefully, your loved one''s recovery. Clear-eyed and realistic, this concise booklet is a must-read for family members and their pastoral caregivers to be on the same page and to speak with one loving voice to the suffering loved one. Included in the booklet is a link to a video of the Ryans'' story of rescue from a marriage nearly shipwrecked by narcotic addiction that can be used as a discussion-generating tool for groups or couples seeking recovery. Barbara Dixon Ryan is a lawyer, substance abuse counselor, peer recovery specialist and a lover of people. She has taken seminary level courses from the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation and is an avid reader and gleaner in the field of substance abuse recovery. She has been active in her own recovery community for 15 years and writes, counsels and teaches on Biblical themes. She is the mother of three, the grandmother of three, and wife of one (with whom separation-unto-reconciliation was twice necessary). Her youngest daughter is non-verbal, severely developmentally challenged and is on the autism spectrum. The Lord God has given her the tongue of one who has been taught, so that she can sustain others who are weary with words of encouragement. (Isaiah 50:4 is her life verse.) She can be reached at [email protected]. Barbara knows the hell of addiction....her book is a guide through the labyrinth of relational, emotional and institutional chaos. I am enormously grateful that my clients will now have an ally that wisely provides a coherent and robust way forward...a must-read. Dan B. Allender, Ph.D.; Professor of Counseling Psychology and Founding President, The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology Barbara Dixon Ryan writes from both the head and the heart, having experienced firsthand the grief of loving an addict....I recommend this volume to anyone who finds themselves loving someone who is addicted to something they hate. Kathy Keller, author and co-founder with Tim Keller, Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York City "I wish I had had this booklet twenty years ago! Helpful, concise and wise. I highly recommend it." Rev. Dr. John Yates, Rector, the Falls Church Epsicopal/Anglican, 1979-2019 Do not read this book unless you want to learn, step-by-step, how tough Christian love is more powerful than the worst addiction has to offer. But if you need to know what to do, from intervention to relinquishment, this booklet is for you. Robert S. Brown, MD, Ph.D., COL (Ret.), formerly Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, School of Medicine, and Professor of Education, University of Virginia "The ''opioid epidemic'' is no abstraction. It touches almost every family and this publication is the practical aide you need, grounded in neuroscience, theology, and personal wisdom. I highly endorse Barbara''s work." Dawn Murphy Phillips, Former Assistant Prosecutor, Virginia Courts, currently a Child Advocacy Attorney Barbara Ryan lives, writes, and knows addiction-in-the-family recovery fully. She has been a resource for me and will be a resource for you. She knows the questions you have and points you to the answers you need. Reverend Mark Davis, Senior Pastor, Park Cities Presbyterian Church, Dallas, Texas

Addiction to Love

Addiction to Love
Author: Susan Peabody
Publisher: Celestial Arts
Total Pages: 217
Release: 2011-04-13
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0307781305

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Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist

When Someone You Love Is Addicted

When Someone You Love Is Addicted
Author: Jessica Hanan
Publisher: The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc
Total Pages: 68
Release: 1998-12-15
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 9780823928316

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Discusses how and why people may become addicted to drugs or alcohol, the effects such addictions can have on family members and friends, and ways to get help.

When Your Partner Has an Addiction

When Your Partner Has an Addiction
Author: Christopher Kennedy Lawford
Publisher: BenBella Books, Inc.
Total Pages: 233
Release: 2016-10-04
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1941631878

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Your partner's addiction takes a toll on both of your lives. That doesn't mean you should turn your back on the person you love. We've been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we're enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we're codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true? When Your Partner Has an Addiction challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery. Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, When Your Partner Has an Addiction honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself. The research proves that, while you cannot "fix" your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, When Your Partner Has an Addiction provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person
Author: Howard Marvin Halpern
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2004
Genre: Autonomy (Psychology)
ISBN:

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"Are you in lov - or addicted? How to know when to call it quits ... and how to find the courage to do it. Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more paain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you: why you can get addicted to a person, why and how you may try t deceive yourself ('he really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it'), how you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship, how to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you, why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are 'in love', how to get through the agonizing breakup period - without going back, how not to get caught in such a painful relationship again."-- Back cover.

When Someone You Love Is Addicted to Alchohol Or Drugs

When Someone You Love Is Addicted to Alchohol Or Drugs
Author: Jim Maclaine
Publisher: Random House Australia
Total Pages: 290
Release: 2001
Genre: House & Home
ISBN: 1863252754

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This classic title has helped thousands of Australians. Now revised and updated for the new millennium, it will reach thousands more - and save lives. If you know someone with a drinking or drug problem then this guide is for you. Psychologist Jim Maclaine, one of Australia's most experienced and respected drug/alcohol counsellors, provides invaluable advice and proven strategies that can help you reach out to someone you love and make a difference. This revised and expanded edition shows you- *** how to develop realistic and positive ways of coping *** strategies for improving the addicted person's chance of recovery *** how to communicate openly with them and assist them in seeking help *** And a new chapter on heroin details the difference between heroin and other addictions, debunks common myths about heroin use, and discusses the most up-to-date treatments for heroin addiction. In his reassuring and practical style, Jim Maclaine shows how you can help someone addicted to alcohol or drugs to turn their lives around. 'This book provides the beginning of self-change - the only way you can help an addicted person' - Gabrielle Lord

Prodependence

Prodependence
Author: Robert Weiss
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Total Pages: 170
Release: 2018-09-18
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 075732035X

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"Prodependence," a new psychological term created by Robert Weiss to describe healthy interdependence in the modern world, turns this around. Rather that preaching detachment and distance over continued bonding and assistance, as so many therapists, self-help books, and 12-step groups currently do, prodependence celebrates the human need for and pursuit of intimate connection, viewing this as a positive force for change. Simply stated, prodependence occurs when attachment relationships are mutually beneficial--with one person's strengths filling in the weak points of the other, and vice versa. And this can occur even when an addiction is present