“May be destined to become one of the great underground classics of the twenty-first century.” —Lansing State Journal Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president’s heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution—the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom’s homemade apple pie already dead or dying, that time is now. But McGill has a talent for stumbling into every imaginable depravity—and this case is driving him even deeper into America’s darkest, dankest underbelly, toward obscenities that boggle even his mind. “Combines the noir sensibilities of Raymond Chandler with the grotesqueness of Chuck Palahniuk’s infamous short story ‘Guts’ and the acerbic social commentary of William S. Burroughs’s Naked Lunch.” —Chicago Tribune “Laugh-out-loud funny . . . a deeply inventive look at the undercurrents beneath the mainstream popular culture.” —Charlotte Observer “Not for the faint of heart.” —Entertainment Weekly