Ode to the Mammoth Cheese
Author | : Thomas Kennedy |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : |
Release | : 1802* |
Genre | : Cheese |
ISBN | : |
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Author | : Thomas Kennedy |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : |
Release | : 1802* |
Genre | : Cheese |
ISBN | : |
Author | : James McIntyre |
Publisher | : Ingersoll [Can.] : Chronicle |
Total Pages | : 208 |
Release | : 1889 |
Genre | : Dairying |
ISBN | : |
Author | : Kathryn Petras |
Publisher | : Vintage |
Total Pages | : 145 |
Release | : 1997-03-25 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 0679776222 |
Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
Author | : Gilbert Keith Chesterton |
Publisher | : Jazzybee Verlag |
Total Pages | : 98 |
Release | : 1927 |
Genre | : Literary Collections |
ISBN | : 3849677664 |
If Mr. Chesterton had been permitted to have his own way this handful of papers would have been sent out under the title of "Gargoyles." Perhaps the publisher foresaw horror upon the faces of really unimaginative readers when once brought face to face with a "monster" title; so it was changed to "Alarms and discursions," as indefinite and capable of possibilities as one could wish. "Fragments of futile journalism or fleeting impressions," Mr. Chesterton calls his essays. "This row of shapeless and ungainly monsters . . . does not consist of separate idols cut out capriciously in lonely valleys or various islands. These monsters are meant for the gargoyles of a definite cathedral. I have to carve the gargoyles, because I can carve nothing else; I leave to others the angels and the arches and the spires." Forty essays, in which excellent common sense and brilliantly phrased wisdom mingle with sheer nonsense.
Author | : John Passfield |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 0 |
Release | : 2022-09 |
Genre | : |
ISBN | : 9781772442540 |
From the author of John Passfield: Saturday Morning, shortlisted for the ReLit Awards in the novel category, 2022 With the contribution of eight hundred cows, the tiny village of Ingersoll, Ontario, has not only produced the world's largest block of cheese, it has also nurtured the epic poet who can rapturously sing its praises. Now, if only Queen Victoria can be persuaded to take a hearty bite and add her majestic voice to the poet's ecstatic hymns of praise, the Mammoth Cheese will become the edible jewel in the crown of the globe-girdling British Empire. James McIntyre (1828-1906) won fame as the "Cheese Poet" of Ingersoll, Ontario, although his verse dealt with many other subjects as well. His best-known poem, "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing Over 7,000 Pounds," celebrated an actual (and immense) block of cheese produced in the town in 1866. Drawing on the legacy of McIntyre's poetry and the scanty biographical details still extant, novelist John Passfield creates a moving portrait of a man whose artistic ambitions perhaps outstripped his abilities, and the small 19th-century town that was his home. As the author notes, "One wonders whether McIntyre was not wiser than the cheese poems seem to suggest."
Author | : Karl Shaw |
Publisher | : Robinson |
Total Pages | : 356 |
Release | : 2014-06-05 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1780338317 |
This compendious celebration of ineptitude includes some of history’s most spectacularly ill-conceived expeditions and entirely useless pursuits, and features tales of black comedy, insane foolhardiness, breathtaking stupidity and relentless perseverance in the face of inevitable defeat. It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 – during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch – sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.
Author | : Jeanette Hurt |
Publisher | : Penguin |
Total Pages | : 348 |
Release | : 2008-04-01 |
Genre | : Cooking |
ISBN | : 1440636184 |
Any way you cut it, cheese has global appeal. Cheese is one of the most varied and flavorful foods in the world. Its unique appeal lies in its range of textures, aromas, flavors, means of production, and milk sources. With this guide, readers will discover everything they need to know about European and American cheeses, including the growth of artisan cheeses, how to shop for cheese, combining cheese with food and drink, cooking cheese, and making cheese. • Over the past two decades, the quality, availability and popularity of artisan cheeses has grown • Cheese consumption has increased from 11.3 to 31.2 pounds per person over the last 30 years • 1 to 3 of the supermarkets offer full-service cheese counters with up to 300 varieties
Author | : Bathroom Readers' Institute |
Publisher | : Simon and Schuster |
Total Pages | : 389 |
Release | : 2018-07-17 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 1684123925 |
The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more