My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 141
Release: 2013-04-30
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1455577529

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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2014-06-19
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1448165644

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'Many people feel like a one-night stand is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. I disagree...' We've all (well not quite all, perhaps) had at least one: a one-night stand. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night-stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men... Lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles Chelsea's romps through the bedrooms of a host of potential suitors, uncovering what can happen in one night of passion between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated woman. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper named Thunder to her even shorter fling with a very short man, she recalls her myriad one-night stands with hilarious honesty. My Horizontal Life is a sensationally frank and funny memoir of sexual life, and a gloriously quirky take on why we do the things we do. Whether you have been there yourself or not, its one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning...

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2009-12-29
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1416596364

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In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
Author: Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Publisher: Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2011-05-10
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1455504653

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"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Life Will Be the Death of Me

Life Will Be the Death of Me
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Dial Press
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2019-04-09
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0525511784

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler’s year of self-discovery—featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles A SKIMM READS PICK • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time.”—Amy Schumer In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then Donald Trump happens. In a torpor of despair, she decides that she’s had enough of the privileged bubble she’s lived in—a bubble within a bubble—and that it’s time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large. At home, she embarks on a year of self-sufficiency—learning how to work the remote, how to pick up dog shit, where to find the toaster. She meets her match in an earnest, brainy psychiatrist and enters into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to look within and make sense of a childhood marked by love and loss and to figure out why people are afraid of her. She becomes politically active—finding her voice as an advocate for change, having difficult conversations, and energizing her base. In the process, she develops a healthy fixation on Special Counsel Robert Mueller and, through unflinching self-reflection and psychological excavation, unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest, insightful, and deeply, darkly funny, Chelsea Handler’s memoir keeps readers laughing, even as it inspires us to look within and ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives. Praise for Life Will Be the Death of Me “You thought you knew Chelsea Handler—and she thought she knew herself—but in her new book, she discovers that true progress lies in the direction we haven’t been.”—Gloria Steinem “I always wondered what it would be like to watch Chelsea Handler in session with her therapist. Now I know.”—Ellen DeGeneres “I love this book not just because it made me laugh or because I learned that I feel the same way about certain people in politics as Chelsea does. I love this book because I feel like I finally really got to know Chelsea Handler after all these years. Thank you for sharing, Chelsea!”—Tiffany Haddish

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Uganda Be Kidding Me
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 245
Release: 2014-03-04
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1455599727

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In this uproarious collection of travel essays, Chelsea Handler sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, Uganda Be Kidding Me has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2010-04-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0446563536

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In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

The Power of Meaning

The Power of Meaning
Author: Emily Esfahani Smith
Publisher: Crown
Total Pages: 269
Release: 2017-01-10
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 055344655X

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In a culture obsessed with happiness, this wise, stirring book points the way toward a richer, more satisfying life. Too many of us believe that the search for meaning is an esoteric pursuit—that you have to travel to a distant monastery or page through dusty volumes to discover life’s secrets. The truth is, there are untapped sources of meaning all around us—right here, right now. To explore how we can craft lives of meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith synthesizes a kaleidoscopic array of sources—from psychologists, sociologists, philosophers, and neuroscientists to figures in literature and history such as George Eliot, Viktor Frankl, Aristotle, and the Buddha. Drawing on this research, Smith shows us how cultivating connections to others, identifying and working toward a purpose, telling stories about our place in the world, and seeking out mystery can immeasurably deepen our lives. To bring what she calls the four pillars of meaning to life, Smith visits a tight-knit fishing village in the Chesapeake Bay, stargazes in West Texas, attends a dinner where young people gather to share their experiences of profound loss, and more. She also introduces us to compelling seekers of meaning—from the drug kingpin who finds his purpose in helping people get fit to the artist who draws on her Hindu upbringing to create arresting photographs. And she explores how we might begin to build a culture that leaves space for introspection and awe, cultivates a sense of community, and imbues our lives with meaning. Inspiring and story-driven, The Power of Meaning will strike a profound chord in anyone seeking a life that matters.

Plastic-Free

Plastic-Free
Author: Beth Terry
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 668
Release: 2015-04-21
Genre: House & Home
ISBN: 1634500350

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“Guides readers toward the road less consumptive, offering practical advice and moral support while making a convincing case that individual actions . . . do matter.” —Elizabeth Royte, author, Garbage Land and Bottlemania Like many people, Beth Terry didn’t think an individual could have much impact on the environment. But while laid up after surgery, she read an article about the staggering amount of plastic polluting the oceans, and decided then and there to kick her plastic habit. In Plastic-Free, she shows you how you can too, providing personal anecdotes, stats about the environmental and health problems related to plastic, and individual solutions and tips on how to limit your plastic footprint. Presenting both beginner and advanced steps, Terry includes handy checklists and tables for easy reference, ways to get involved in larger community actions, and profiles of individuals—Plastic-Free Heroes—who have gone beyond personal solutions to create change on a larger scale. Fully updated for the paperback edition, Plastic-Free also includes sections on letting go of eco-guilt, strategies for coping with overwhelming problems, and ways to relate to other people who aren’t as far along on the plastic-free path. Both a practical guide and the story of a personal journey from helplessness to empowerment, Plastic-Free is a must-read for those concerned about the ongoing health and happiness of themselves, their children, and the planet.

Living Fully

Living Fully
Author: Mallory Ervin
Publisher: Convergent Books
Total Pages: 209
Release: 2023-02-07
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0593238354

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • An irresistible guide to living without holding back, from the vibrant lifestyle entrepreneur and host of the Living Fully podcast One of Katie Couric Media’s Best New Self Help Books to Read in the New Year • “If you’re ready to up-level your life and create long-lasting change, then this book is for you! Mallory’s resilient path will inspire you to step into your power.”—Gabby Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back Mallory Ervin is known for exuding energy, joy, and laughter. But despite her public accomplishments, Mallory is no stranger to battling unhealthy attachments to performance and success. Now, in her unforgettable debut book, Mallory invites readers to see how her surprising journey—from achievement and accolades to devastating, never-before-shared lows—guided her and led her to a deeply fulfilling life. In Living Fully, Mallory shares her personal story of overcoming the unhealthy and damaging patterns in her life and shows readers how to trade this for something completely new and more rewarding. What she discovered was there had always been a different life available to her, one that she had not yet seen. Now she encourages readers to resist a “just fine” existence and to step into a life they never dared to imagine before. Through inspiring stories and practical advice Mallory offers the motivation to: • stop returning to a “just getting by” mentality • shift perspective so blessings don’t become burdens • remember that life’s curveballs don’t have to knock you off your feet • identify your passions and get back to your truest self • slow down and enjoy the extraordinary in the everyday moments • quiet the voice of fear • get clear on the life you want “I wrote this to be your wake-up call, the thing that turns the lights on in your life and propels you to make real change, once and for all,” Mallory says. “I want you to wake up and stay awake.” For anyone hungry for a richer life, or tired of coasting through life in a “cruise control” mindset, Living Fully is the ultimate invitation to embrace abundance and joy—and not look back!