I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF, is a compilation of four short stories of comedy/horror, ghost and the supernatural, with profanity from the beginning, and will have something for every level of sense of humour, and you will need it, with these very different and unique short stories from Joe KING.This book has been re-titled, and is also being sold as NIGHT SHIFT, The BOG!, The PLONKER, INFECTED. These versions also contain alternative endings!From the Author.Having decided to re-title this book because I wanted to create, Tales from the funny(dark)side series, then realising after it cannot be replaced by the new edition. I decided that instead of having it listed not for sale any longer, I saw this as an opportunity to add an alternative ending. Like all books, sometimes after they are published new ideas do pop up, so I have rewritten the ending with something just as strange and I hope, as funny!Happy Reading, Joe.Tale 1; A fun packed comedy/horror, and a very different type of ghost, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that's if your sense of humour is up it!Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night shift back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, they are out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible!Tale 2; A detective story with horror and plenty of humour to give you something very different to read!A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers, and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack Mckenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of this city, and they soon realise they will have to go the down the sewers to find out what is killing all these people. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan!Tale 3; This dark tale will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour will be pushed to its limits!When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken, was never going to have a happy ending! Tale 4; With comedy/horror and a very strange tale of why rules are sometime not meant to be broken. This story will make you think twice before going off for a secluded skinny dip!Nature has a funny way of doing things sometimes, and it only takes a slight change in an Ecosystem and everything can go to pot. Take parasites for example, they have developed themselves over millions of years, and even use us humans for their own ends, like the unassuming tape worm. Their reproduction can be quite amazing and the lengths they will go to get what they want, and like all living things, the end goal is to reproduce and multiply, but when humans get involved, it generally does not end well!When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins!