How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
Author: Mary McHugh
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 146
Release: 2009-03-17
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0740781553

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Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

How Not to Become a Little Old Lady

How Not to Become a Little Old Lady
Author: Mary McHugh
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 145
Release: 2008-03-01
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0740788655

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You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.

If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll

If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll
Author: Mary McHugh
Publisher: Willow Creek Press
Total Pages: 101
Release: 2014-07-12
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1623435552

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With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities. She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.” A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa. And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things. Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.

Refire! Don't Retire

Refire! Don't Retire
Author: Ken Blanchard
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Total Pages: 141
Release: 2015-02-02
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1626563357

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Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living.

How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch

How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch
Author: Marilynn Carlson Webber
Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company
Total Pages: 0
Release: 1996
Genre: Women
ISBN: 9780310207160

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With practicality and humor, these anecdotes show how choices we make in our 30s and 40s determine who we will become as we grow older--and how making right choices helps us develop positive traits including courage to face change, growth in grace, and contentment.

Ur Special

Ur Special
Author: Danny Casale
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 193
Release: 2021-11-02
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0593330102

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Based on the wildly popular characters from Coolman Coffeedan, a colorful and charming collection of parables reminding us to face our fears, our anxieties, and our self-consciousness head-on. What do a naked cat, a sad turtle, an armless robot, and a sentient potato have in common? Quite a lot, actually! In this vibrant and heartfelt book, self-proclaimed bad animator Danny Casale delivers a much-needed jolt of positivity and humor to ease even the sourest of spirits. Fans of his Coolman Coffeedan accounts will recognize his simple and relatable illustrations, but the material is entirely new. Each chapter introduces a new friend and a new hardship, offering the perfect pick-me-up for whatever has you down. Tackling topics from loneliness and self-confidence to the perfect (ONLY) way to construct a bowl of cereal, this book will leave you feeling just fine. So don’t forget—no matter what you may be feeling on the inside, or what people may be saying on the outside, UR SPECIAL!

Dogs with Old Man Faces

Dogs with Old Man Faces
Author: Tom Cohen
Publisher: Running Press Adult
Total Pages: 146
Release: 2013-10-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0762450665

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Sure, it's easy to love a cute puppy with adorable eyes. But there's just something about those dogs with old man faces, with mugs weathered by experience and wisdom. Dogs with Old Man Faces combines heartwarming photos with humorous captions, sure to make anyone laugh and love their old dogs even more.

Old Nathan

Old Nathan
Author: David Drake
Publisher: Baen Books
Total Pages: 128
Release: 1991
Genre: Wizards
ISBN: 0671720848

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Lessons From Lucy

Lessons From Lucy
Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Total Pages: 240
Release: 2020-11-03
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1501161164

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In this “little gem” (Washington Independent Review of Books), Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy—not happily—he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world’s oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it’s okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons From Lucy shows readers a new side to Dave Barry that’s “touching and sentimental, but there’s still a laugh on every page” (The Sacramento Bee). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.

Old Dogs

Old Dogs
Author: Gene Weingarten
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 160
Release: 2008-10-07
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 1416565965

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Featuring sixty black-and-white photographs of old dogs shot by Pulitzer Prize–winning photographer Michael S. Williamson and narrated by Washington Post staffer and columnist Gene Weingarten, this is a perfect collection for dog lovers that celebrates “man’s best friend.” Anyone who has ever loved an old dog will love Old Dogs. In this collection of profiles and photographs, Weingarten and Williamson document the unique appeal of man's best friend in his or her last, and best, years. This book is a tribute to every dog who has made it to that time of life when the hearing and eyesight begin to go, when the step becomes uncertain, but when other, richer traits ripen and coalesce. It is when a dog attains a special sort of dignity and a charm all his own. If you've known a favorite old dog, you'll find him or her on these pages. Your dog might go by a different name and have a different shape, but you'll recognize him or her by the look in an eye or the contours of a life story. There is the dog who thinks he is a house cat; the herder, the fetcher, the punk and the peacock, the escape artist, the demolition artist, the patrician, the lovable lout, the amiable dope, the laughable clown, the schemer, the singer, the daredevil, the diplomat, the politician, the gourmand, and the thief. Plus, as a special bonus, you will find the first Latvian elkhounds ever photographed. Old Dogs is a glorious gift book and a fitting tribute to that one dog you can't ever forget.