The laugh-out-loud answer to the guide that has terrified millions! So the pregnancy test is positive, and the only thing growing faster than your appetite for anything fried is your list of questions: How long until I have to pay through the nose for maternity wear? Is there anything I can do to prevent the scrapbooking instinct from kicking in? Relax. The advice in this book will be as easily digested as the now - forbidden caffeine you used to chug by the vat. Sure, having your kidneys double as someone's couch sounds like kind of a downer, but that's just all the more reason why every pregnant woman needs this hysterical send-up. Mary K. Moore not only covers the 40 weeks of pregnancy but also tackles the stupor that is baby's first six months, including: Naming baby: fruit or action verb? Birth plans: your dreams, a doctor's comic relief The politics of choosing diapers: landfill landmines or inconvenient napkins? Spotlighting the absurdity of pregnancy and shaking the sugar-coating off symptoms - get ready for the breasts of a stripper and the bladder of a Shriner - The Unexpected When You're Expecting is a must-have for anyone with a uterus. PRAISE FOR THE UNEXPECTED WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING "The advice is useful. But most of all, this book is funny." Austin-American Statesman "Hilarious! A witty, laugh-out-loud take on the classic. It's the perfect gift for every woman who has ever felt like throwing What To Expect When You're Expecting across the room (or at her husband). I love this book - it is exactly what a parody should be." Risa Green, author of Notes from the Underbelly "The Unexpected When You're Expecting is smart, dry, and divinely anti-guidebook. Mary K. Moore's laugh-out-loud glimpse into pregnancy is the perfect gift for your gloriously hip friends who are currently sporting glamorously elastic waistbands." Austin Kidbits Blog