You Can't Iron a Wrinkled Birthday Suit

You Can't Iron a Wrinkled Birthday Suit
Author: Sharon Phennah
Publisher: BQB Publishing
Total Pages: 351
Release: 2011-10-04
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1937084159

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Zany women and their pets have fun getting older. "When I get old, I hope to have friends as awesome as these. This is an absolutely feel good novel. Naturally, our intrepid characters, wattles and all, undergo all sorts of trials, but it's the compassion and generosity they exhibit that endears the reader." -- Sam Sanders, via NetGalley Zany families, eccentric friends, and ne-er-do-well neighbors inhabit the labyrinthine lives of three women friends as they grapple with real world events in one "Golden Year." An unwelcome visit from local law enforcement, a younger friend's romantic chaos, and the death of a parent combine with daily mundanities---laundry, scones, and senior sex---to create a walloping, raucous read. Opinionated pets---critics and alter egos---offer a rich counterpoint to the human dramas affecting their lives. Unfiltered and compelling, this entertaining sago provides readers of all ages with a new and positive view of growing older.

The Big Sleep

The Big Sleep
Author: Raymond Chandler
Publisher: DigiCat
Total Pages: 196
Release: 2022-08-16
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

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DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

My Way of Life

My Way of Life
Author: Joan Crawford
Publisher: Graymalkin Media
Total Pages: 138
Release: 2017-02-28
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1631681095

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From “Grand Hotel” to “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?,” Joan Crawford played some of the finest parts Hollywood had to offer, establishing a reputation as the most spectacular diva on the silver screen. Even when the cameras quit rolling, her life never stopped being over-the-top. In My Way of Life, a cult classic since it was first published in the early 1970’s, Crawford shares her secrets. Part memoir, part self-help book, part guide to being fabulous, My Way of Life advises the reader on everything from throwing a small dinner party for eighteen to getting the most out of a marriage. Featuring tips on fashion, makeup, etiquette and everything in between, it is an irresistible look at a bygone era, when movie stars were pure class, and Crawford was at the top of the heap.

Last Chance Saloon

Last Chance Saloon
Author: Marian Keyes
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 532
Release: 2009-03-17
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0061843490

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Ever since legwarmers were cool, best friends Tara, Katherine, and Fintan have survived small-town ennui, big-city heartbreak, and endless giddy nights out on the town. But now that they've graduated to their slightly more serious thirties, only Fintan has what can honestly be called a "love life." With Tara struggling daily with her eternal diet—and her dreadful, penny-pinching boyfriend—and Katherine keeping her single existence as organized as her drawer full of matching bra and panty sets, it seems they'll never locate the exit door out of the "last chance saloon." But it's always when you are least ready for change that fate insists on one. And when catastrophe inevitably follows crisis, the lives of three best friends are sure to change in unexpected ways ... and not necessarily for the worse. You devoured the hilarious antics of Claire in Watermelon. You laughed 'til you cried in Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married. You took a vacation gone mad in Rachel's Holiday. You flew away with Margaret—good girl gone bad—in Angels. You got a peek inside the cutthroat world of women's fashion magazines in Sushi for Beginners. Now, raise your glass to Tara, Katherine, and Fintan in Last Chance Saloon.

Messy

Messy
Author: Heather Cocks
Publisher: Poppy
Total Pages: 199
Release: 2012-06-05
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0316201812

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Sometimes life gets Messy. When sixteen-year-old Brooke Berlin catches a taste of fame and her movie-star father's attention, she decides it's time to take her career to the next level--by launching a blog that will position her as a Hollywood "It Girl" who tells it like it is. But between schoolwork, shopping, and spray-tan appointments, she hardly has the time to write it herself... Enter green-haired outsider Max McCormack, an aspiring author with a terrible after-school job pushing faux meat on the macrobiotic masses. Max loathes the celebrity scene almost as much as she dislikes Brooke, but wooed by an impressive salary, Max reluctantly agrees to play Brooke's ghost-blogger -- and the site takes off. How long will their lie last? Can the girls work together to stay on top, or will the truth come out and ruin everything they've built? Along with an entourage of fame-hungry starlets, scruffy rocker wannabes, and sushi-scarfing socialites, the case of Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan's dazzling debut, Spoiled, are back for another adventure in Tinseltown.

The King's Birthday Suit

The King's Birthday Suit
Author: Peter Bently
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Total Pages: 32
Release: 2021-04-29
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1408860155

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King Albert-Horatio-Otto the Third had SO many clothes it was simply absurd ... So when two seemingly well-meaning fabric merchants promise to make an outfit of only the very BEST and most special cloth, King Albert-Horatio-Otto the Third simply cannot resist. He MUST have these new clothes! Surely, the unquestionably charitable and not-at-all-suspicious-looking tailors are genuine, and the King won't end up looking red-cheeked ... ? This funny and timely retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's classic fable 'The Emperor's New Clothes' will not only make children laugh, but also encourage them to think and speak up for what they believe.

The Boy I Loved Before

The Boy I Loved Before
Author: Jenny Colgan
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Total Pages: 324
Release: 2005-03-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1466819421

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Jenny Colgan's laugh-out-loud funny The Boy I loved Before is a new comedy about second chances. If you could do it all again knowing what you know now... While attending her best friend Sashy's wedding, Flora Scurrison realizes that this monotonous, nine-to-five, cookie-cutter life is exactly what's in store for her. While it might be okay for Sashy, it's certainly not what she envisioned for herself when she was sixteen. So when her boyfriend proposes to her during the reception, Flora makes a wish to go back and do it all over again. The next morning she wakes up to find that she has been given the ultimate second chance--she's sixteen again. As Flora navigates school, first loves--new and old--and discovers what it really means to make adult choices, will she stay in her new body or try and find her way home?

Clash of Flesh and Metal

Clash of Flesh and Metal
Author: Alicia Ellis
Publisher: Figmented Ink
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2021-04-20
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN:

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She must obey a stranger's orders, or the androids will attack again… Despite Lena's fears about the dangers of the Model One androids, CyberCorp has shipped them to customers. They work perfectly—except around Lena. When an android attacks one of her best friends, she insists the robots are fatally flawed. Desperate to keep this situation from spiraling out of control, like it did last time, Lena casts suspicion on everyone she knows. This time, she won't trust anyone. When she gets a threatening note from someone claiming to be controlling the androids, she'll obey—but only to stall for time. Can she find whoever's responsible, before someone else she loves dies?

Al Capone Does My Shirts

Al Capone Does My Shirts
Author: Gennifer Choldenko
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 290
Release: 2006-04-20
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1440629633

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The Newbery Honor Book and New York Times Bestseller that is historical fiction with a hint of mystery about living at Alcatraz not as a prisoner, but as a kid meeting some of the most famous criminals in our history. Al Capone Does My Shirts has become an instant classic for all kids to read! Today I moved to Alcatraz, a twelve-acre rock covered with cement, topped with bird turd and surrounded by water. I'm not the only kid who lives here. There are twenty-three other kids who live on the island because their dads work as guards or cooks or doctors or electricians for the prison, like my dad does. And then there are a ton of murderers, rapists, hit men, con men, stickup men, embezzlers, connivers, burglars, kidnappers and maybe even an innocent man or two, though I doubt it. The convicts we have are the kind other prisons don't want. I never knew prisons could be picky, but I guess they can. You get to Alcatraz by being the worst of the worst. Unless you're me. I came here because my mother said I had to. A Newbery Honor Book A New York Times Bestseller A People magazine "Best kid's Book" An ALA Book for Young Adults An ALA Notable Book A School Library Journal Best Book of the Year A Krikus Reviews Editor's Choice A San Francisco Chronicle Best Book of the Year A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Parents' Choice Silver Honor Book A New York Public Library "100 Titles for Reading and Sharing" Selection A New York Public Library Best Book for the Teen Age *"Choldenko's pacing is exquisite. . . . [A] great read."—Kirkus Reviews, starred review *"Exceptionally atmospheric, fast-paced and memorable!"—Publishers Weekly, starred review *"The story, told with humor and skill, will fascinate readers."—School Library Journal, starred review "Al is the perfect novel for a young guy or moll who digs books by Gordon Korman, or Louis Sachar."—Time Out New York for Kids "Funny situations and plot twists abound!"—People magazine "Heartstopping in some places, heartrending in others, and most of all, it is heartwarming."—San Francisco Chronicle

Ladies' Night

Ladies' Night
Author: Mary Kay Andrews
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2014
Genre: Divorced women
ISBN: 9781594137006

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Stuck with little money and divorced, rising media star Grace Stanton moves in with her widowed mother and attends court-mandated group therapy where she bonds with three fellow patients who she helps plot respective pursuits of justice and closure.