The Last Girlfriend on Earth

The Last Girlfriend on Earth
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher:
Total Pages: 118
Release: 2014-07
Genre: Dating (Social customs)
ISBN: 9780316255929

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A collection of humorous short stories about love and romance, including the tale of a besotted Sherlock Holmes ignoring all the clues that his girlfriend's been cheating on him.

The Last Girlfriend on Earth

The Last Girlfriend on Earth
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher: Profile Books
Total Pages: 174
Release: 2013-01-31
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1847659020

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It doesn't matter if you're a caveman, a time traveller or a regular person. Sooner or later, someone's going to break your heart. The sketches in Simon Rich's new book are bizarre, funny, and - if you've ever been in love - all too familiar. From the invisible man stalking his ex, to Sherlock Holmes' only blind spot, The Last Girlfriend on Earth is always enchanting, often sweet, though occasionally awkward. Just like love itself. 'The Last Girlfriend On Earthis silly, surreal, sometimes sad and always laugh-out-loud funny. This collection will have you giggling/crying/squirming in recognition, and wondering what exactly Simon Rich has eaten to dream all this stuff up ... pulls off the tough trick of being both heart-warming and hilarious - it's a must-read if you've ever so much as had a crush on someone' Heat 'Pithy, occasionally bonkers' Time Out 'Truly hilarious' Eva Wiseman, Observer

Ant Farm

Ant Farm
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 162
Release: 2009-11-11
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0307493962

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In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon Rich finds humor in some very surprising places. Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential. –If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid? –What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage? –If murderers can get into heaven by accepting Jesus, just how awkward is it when they run into their victims? Join Simon Rich as he explores the extraordinary and hilarious desperation that resides in ordinary life, from cradle to grave. "Hilarious." –Jon Stewart

Life as We Knew it

Life as We Knew it
Author: Susan Beth Pfeffer
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Total Pages: 324
Release: 2008
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0152061541

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I guess I always felt even if the world came to an end, McDonald's still would be open. High school sophomore Miranda's disbelief turns to fear in a split second when an asteroid knocks the moon closer to Earth, like "one marble hits another." The result is catastrophic. How can her family prepare for the future when worldwide tsunamis are wiping out the coasts, earthquakes are rocking the continents, and volcanic ash is blocking out the sun? As August turns dark and wintery in northeastern Pennsylvania, Miranda, her two brothers, and their mother retreat to the unexpected safe haven of their sunroom, where they subsist on stockpiled food and limited water in the warmth of a wood-burning stove. Told in a year's worth of journal entries, this heart-pounding story chronicles Miranda's struggle to hold on to the most important resource of all--hope--in an increasingly desperate and unfamiliar world. An extraordinary series debut Susan Beth Pfeffer has written several companion novels to Life As We Knew It, including The Dead and the Gone, This World We Live In, and The Shade of the Moon.

The Last Boy and Girl in the World

The Last Boy and Girl in the World
Author: Siobhan Vivian
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 432
Release: 2016-04-26
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1481452290

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If her town is to be evacuated due to flooding, high school senior and class clown Keeley wants to cheer up her friends and pursue her big crush.

New Teeth

New Teeth
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher: Little, Brown
Total Pages: 152
Release: 2021-07-27
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0316536695

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Laugh till you cry in this new collection of stories from the award-winning “Serena Williams of humor writing” (New York Times Book Review) about raising babies and trying not to be one. Called a “comedic Godsend” by Conan O’Brien and “the Stephen King of comedy writing” by John Mulaney, Simon Rich is back with New Teeth, his funniest and most personal collection yet. Two murderous pirates find a child stowaway on board and attempt to balance pillaging with co-parenting. A woman raised by wolves prepares for her parents’ annual Thanksgiving visit. An aging mutant superhero is forced to learn humility when the mayor kicks him upstairs to a desk job. And in the hard-boiled caper “The Big Nap,” a weary two-year-old detective struggles to make sense of “a world gone mad.” Equal parts silly and sincere, New Teeth is an ode to growing up, growing older, and what it means to make a family.

Earth Star

Earth Star
Author: Janet Edwards
Publisher: Pyr
Total Pages: 364
Release: 2014-04-15
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1616148985

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Romance, science fiction, action, and a look at the false assumptions we make about others combine in this light-hearted, fun, and well-conceived science fiction future. Only She Can Save the World. Eighteen-year-old Jarra has a lot to prove. After being awarded one of the military’s highest honors for her role in a daring rescue attempt, she finds herself—and her Ape status—in the spotlight. Jarra is one of the unlucky few born with an immune system that cannot survive on other planets. Derided as an “ape”—a “throwback”—by the rest of the universe, she is on a mission to prove that Earth Girls are just as good as anyone else. Except now the planet she loves is under threat by what could be humanity’s first ever alien contact. Jarra’s bravery—and specialist knowledge—will once again be at the center of the maelstrom, but will the rest of the universe consider Earth worth fighting for? From the Hardcover edition.

The Last Lover

The Last Lover
Author: Can Xue
Publisher: Yale University Press
Total Pages: 330
Release: 2014-07-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0300206887

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divIn Can Xue’s extraordinary book, we encounter a full assemblage of husbands, wives, and lovers. Entwined in complicated, often tortuous relationships, these characters step into each other’s fantasies, carrying on conversations that are “forever guessing games.” Their journeys reveal the deepest realms of human desire, figured in Can Xue’s vision of snakes and wasps, crows, cats, mice, earthquakes, and landslides. In dive bars and twisted city streets, on deserts and snowcapped mountains, the author creates an extreme world where every character “is driving death away with a singular performance.” Who is the last lover? The novel is bursting with vividly drawn characters. Among them are Joe, sales manager of a clothing company in an unnamed Western country, and his wife, Maria, who conducts mystical experiments with the household’s cats and rosebushes. Joe’s customer Reagan is having an affair with Ida, a worker at his rubber plantation, while clothing-store owner Vincent runs away from his wife in pursuit of a woman in black who disappears over and over again. By the novel’s end, we have accompanied these characters on a long march, a naive, helpless, and forsaken search for love, because there are just some things that can’t be stopped—or helped./DIV

If He Had Been with Me

If He Had Been with Me
Author: Laura Nowlin
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Total Pages: 338
Release: 2013-04-02
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1402277849

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If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

Hits and Misses

Hits and Misses
Author: Simon Rich
Publisher: Serpent's Tail
Total Pages:
Release: 2018-07-26
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1782833862

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WINNER OF THE 2019 THURBER PRIZE FOR AMERICAN HUMOR 'Genius ... Who could ask for more? You can give his books to people and just watch them laugh. Only after you've snorted through them yourself, though' Evening Standard From a bitter tell-all by a horse who made a man famous and then got left behind to a gushing magazine profile of one of your favorite World War II dictators, these stories trawl through history to skewer our obsession with fame and fortune - all the way from ancient Babylon to Hollywood. What father-to-be wouldn't feel a little jealous when his baby outstrips his success from the womb? And what happens when a film critic is forced to live in the movies he so cruelly damned? Loved in the UK by celebs, writers and readers alike, from Lauren Laverne to Matt Haig and Caitlin Moran, Simon Rich is back with his funniest and most personal collection of stories to date.