My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha
Author: Jolie Kerr
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2014-02-25
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0142196932

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Wise and funny. . . . The Lorrie Moore short story, or the Tina Fey memoir, of cleaning tutorials.”—Dwight Garner, The New York Times “Thrillingly titled. . . . For a generation overwhelmed not just by dust bunnies, but by bong water on the carpet, pee stains on the ceiling and vomit seemingly everywhere, Jolie Kerr dispenses cleaning advice free of judgment. . . . A Mrs. Beeton for the postcollege set.” —Penelope Green, The New York Times “Jolie Kerr really cuts through the grease and grime with her new book. I do what she tells me to do.” —Amy Sedaris The author of the hit column “Ask a Clean Person” offers a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning up life’s little emergencies Life is filled with spills, odors, and those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can’t tell your parents about. And let’s be honest: no one is going to ask Martha Stewart what to do when your boyfriend barfs in your handbag. Thankfully, Jolie Kerr has both staggering cleaning knowledge and a sense of humor. With signature sass and straight talk, Jolie takes on questions ranging from the basic—how do I use a mop? —to the esoteric—what should I do when bottles of homebrewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen? My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag proves that even the most nightmarish cleaning conundrums can be solved with a smile, the right supplies, and a little music.

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha

My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha
Author: Jolie Kerr
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2014-02-20
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1101613238

Download My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Wise and funny. . . . The Lorrie Moore short story, or the Tina Fey memoir, of cleaning tutorials.”—Dwight Garner, The New York Times “Thrillingly titled. . . . For a generation overwhelmed not just by dust bunnies, but by bong water on the carpet, pee stains on the ceiling and vomit seemingly everywhere, Jolie Kerr dispenses cleaning advice free of judgment. . . . A Mrs. Beeton for the postcollege set.” —Penelope Green, The New York Times “Jolie Kerr really cuts through the grease and grime with her new book. I do what she tells me to do.” —Amy Sedaris The author of the hit column “Ask a Clean Person” offers a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning up life’s little emergencies Life is filled with spills, odors, and those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can’t tell your parents about. And let’s be honest: no one is going to ask Martha Stewart what to do when your boyfriend barfs in your handbag. Thankfully, Jolie Kerr has both staggering cleaning knowledge and a sense of humor. With signature sass and straight talk, Jolie takes on questions ranging from the basic—how do I use a mop? —to the esoteric—what should I do when bottles of homebrewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen? My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag proves that even the most nightmarish cleaning conundrums can be solved with a smile, the right supplies, and a little music.

A Touch of Crimson

A Touch of Crimson
Author: Sylvia Day
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 370
Release: 2011-10-04
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0451234995

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From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Crossfire series comes the first novel in a hot-blooded paranormal romance series... Adrian Mitchell is an angel of immense power and insatiable desire. Leading an elite Special Ops unit of the Seraphim, his task is to punish the Fallen—angels who have become vampires—and command a restless pack of indentured lycans. But Adrian has suffered his own punishment for becoming involved with mortals—losing the woman he loves again and again. Now, after nearly two hundred years, he has found her—Shadoe, her soul once more inhabiting a new body with no memory of him. This time he won’t let her go. With no memory of her past as Shadoe, Lindsay Gibson only knows she can’t help being fiercely attracted to the smoldering, seductive male who crosses her path. Swept into a dangerous world of tumultuous passion and preternatural conflict, Lindsay is soon caught in the middle between her angel lover, her vampire father, and a full-blown lycan revolt. There’s more at stake than her love and her life—this time she could lose her very soul...

Sophie's World

Sophie's World
Author: Jostein Gaarder
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Total Pages: 735
Release: 2007-03-20
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1466804270

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A page-turning novel that is also an exploration of the great philosophical concepts of Western thought, Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World has fired the imagination of readers all over the world, with more than twenty million copies in print. One day fourteen-year-old Sophie Amundsen comes home from school to find in her mailbox two notes, with one question on each: "Who are you?" and "Where does the world come from?" From that irresistible beginning, Sophie becomes obsessed with questions that take her far beyond what she knows of her Norwegian village. Through those letters, she enrolls in a kind of correspondence course, covering Socrates to Sartre, with a mysterious philosopher, while receiving letters addressed to another girl. Who is Hilde? And why does her mail keep turning up? To unravel this riddle, Sophie must use the philosophy she is learning—but the truth turns out to be far more complicated than she could have imagined.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 385
Release: 2013-03-05
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 0425261018

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The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Ask a Queer Chick

Ask a Queer Chick
Author: Lindsay King-Miller
Publisher: National Geographic Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2016-02-02
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 0147516781

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This guide to sex, love and life for girls who like girls is useful whether you’re a lady-dating veteran or still trying to come out to yourself. “Fresh and authentic…[King-Miller] combine[s] the ‘directness’ of Dan Savage with the ‘compassion and gentleness’ of Cheryl Strayed.”—BITCH magazine Seasoned advice columnist and queer chick Lindsay King Miller cuts through all of the bizarre conditioning imparted by parents, romantic comedies, and The L Word to help queer readers live authentic, safe, happy, sexy lives. With advice on every aspect of life as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer woman—from your first Pride to confronting discrimination in the workplace—there is guidance for some of the most major parts of living in a world that can vacillate between supportive and cruel. “Lindsay King-Miller is the cool, queer aunt you never had but always wanted—she is unrelentingly kind, totally funny, and no subject is off limits. Ask a Queer Chick is essential reading.”—Jolie Kerr, author of My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag...And Other Things You Can't Ask Martha

Home Comforts

Home Comforts
Author: Cheryl Mendelson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 900
Release: 2005-05-17
Genre: House & Home
ISBN: 0743272862

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A classic bestselling resource for every household, Home Comforts helps you manage everyday chores, find creative solutions to domestic dilemmas, and enhance the experience of life at home. “Home Comforts is to the house what Joy of Cooking is to food.” —USA TODAY Home Comforts is an engaging and comprehensive book about housekeeping. It is a lively and readable guide for both beginners and experts in all the domestic arts. From keeping surfaces free of germs, watering plants, removing stains, folding a fitted sheet, cleaning china, tuning a piano, lighting a fire, setting the dining room table—this guide covers everything that people might want to do for themselves in their homes. Further topics include: making up a bed with hospital corners, expert recommendations for safe food storage, reading care labels (and sometimes carefully disregarding them), keeping your home free of dust mites and other allergens, this is a practical, good-humored, philosophical guidebook to the art and science of household management.

Stuff Every Woman Should Know

Stuff Every Woman Should Know
Author: Alanna Kalb
Publisher: Quirk Books
Total Pages: 144
Release: 2011-05-18
Genre: Reference
ISBN: 1594744858

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This pocket-sized handbook features all the skills a modern lady needs! This little gift book is packed with tips, tricks, and life hacks for women who need to know everything. With advice on etiquette and social situations, entertaining and cooking tips, do-it-yourself instructions, health information, self-defense techniques, and much, much more, this is the ultimate—but petite!—reference guide for go-getters, self-starters, and independent women everywhere. Featuring: · How to Ask for a Raise · Ten Stylish Pieces Every Woman Should Own · How to Throw a Football · Good Responses to Bad Pick-Up Lines · How to Host a Cocktail Party · How to Parallel Park

Seduction by the Stars

Seduction by the Stars
Author: Ren Lexander
Publisher: Bantam
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2009-09-02
Genre: Body, Mind & Spirit
ISBN: 030757007X

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How do you seduce that gorgeous Leo, that dark and mysteriously sensual Scorpio, that cautious but libidinous Libra? Here is an astrological guide to love unlike any you’ve read before. Playful, witty, but dangerously effective, Seduction by the Stars gives you the down-and-dirty secrets you need to make yourself irresistible to any sign under the sun. In this X-rated guide to the stars, you’ll learn all the tricks: • Are you lusting after an Aries? Run away until you catch them. • Desperate to seduce a Leo? Be prepared to destroy your credit rating in the process. • Smitten by a Virgo? Don’t scare them off with any sudden moves. • Swooning over a Libra? Flattery will get you everywhere. • Crazy for a Scorpio? They’re suckers for sexual shock tactics. Plus a hundred other deliciously naughty seductions and scenarios. It’s all here in this Kama Sutra of the zodiac. Whether you’re planning your next move on a prospective new lover, looking to spice up an already existing relationship, or desperately trying to end a relationship gone flat, you’ll find everything you need in Seduction by the Stars.

The Summer I Became a Nerd

The Summer I Became a Nerd
Author: Leah Rae Miller
Publisher: Entangled: Teen
Total Pages: 259
Release: 2013-05-07
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1620612399

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On the outside, seventeen-year-old Madelyne Summers looks like your typical blond cheerleader—perky, popular, and dating the star quarterback. But inside, Maddie spends more time agonizing over what will happen in the next issue of her favorite comic book than planning pep rallies with her squad. That she's a nerd hiding in a popular girl's body isn't just unknown, it's anti-known. And she needs to keep it that way.Summer is the only time Maddie lets her real self out to play, but when she slips up and the adorkable guy behind the local comic shop's counter uncovers her secret, she's busted. Before she can shake a pom-pom, Maddie's whisked into Logan's world of comic conventions, live-action role-playing, and first-person-shooter video games. And she loves it. But the more she denies who she really is, the deeper her lies become...and the more she risks losing Logan forever.