How to Be an Adult in Relationships

How to Be an Adult in Relationships
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 313
Release: 2021-11-02
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1611809541
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This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships. “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include: • Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood • Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love • Understanding the phases relationships go through • Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries • Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment • Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways • Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact • Understanding love as a spiritual journey

How to Be an Adult

How to Be an Adult
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Paulist Press
Total Pages: 135
Release: 2014-05-14
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1616433558
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Using the metaphor of the heroic journeydeparture, struggle and returnthe author shows readers the way to psychological and spiritual health.

How to Be an Adult in Love

How to Be an Adult in Love
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 203
Release: 2014-01-07
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0834828499
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We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways—beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. He provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love’s inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn’t just for a heroic few, Dave shows, it’s everyone’s magnificent calling.

Daring to Trust

Daring to Trust
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2011-07-26
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1590309243
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The best-selling author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships explains how to build trust—the essential ingredient in successful relationships—in spite of fear or past betrayals Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust explores the importance of trust throughout our emotional lives: how it develops in childhood and how it becomes an essential ingredient in healthy adult relationships. It offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include: • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them) • Why we fear trusting • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others • How to know if someone is trustworthy • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust • What to do when trust is broken Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.

The Five Things We Cannot Change

The Five Things We Cannot Change
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 187
Release: 2006-06-13
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0834822261
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“A lucid, thought-provoking, and illuminating” guide to finding fulfillment and “fluid acceptance of life as it is” (Martha Beck, life coach and New York Times–bestselling author) Why is it that, despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment. There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable “givens” of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality, and including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.

Being True to Life

Being True to Life
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 178
Release: 2009-12-15
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0834821737
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Psychotherapist David Richo offers a fresh and inspiring approach to personal growth: we can use the process of writing and reading poetry to move toward greater self-understanding and emotional healing. Even if you’ve never written a poem before, you can learn to use poetry to explore your feelings, your relationships, your childhood, your dreams, and more. Richo explains how the creative, intuitive process of making poetry can help us gain access to our deepest truths, leading us to make connections and explore experiences in a new way, beyond the constraints of everyday language. This book offers a range of practical exercises for getting started, as well as guidance on how to read poetry in a way that can be personally transformative. Being True to Life shows us that poetry is not reserved for a few specially talented individuals but is a deeply human activity that anyone can tap into for greater clarity and insight into life’s struggles, beauty, and mysteries.

Triggers

Triggers
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 201
Release: 2019-12-10
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0834842580
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The author of The Happiness Trap offers a self-help guide full of creative tools for managing triggers and trauma responses—so you can find peace in painful moments and lasting emotional well-being. Psychotherapist David Richo examines the science of triggers and our reactions of fear, anger, and sadness. He helps us understand why our bodies respond before our minds have a chance to make sense of a situation. By looking deeply at the roots of what provokes us—the words, actions, and even sensory elements like smell—we find opportunities to understand the origins of our triggers and train our bodies to remain calm in the face of painful memories. The book offers in-the-moment exercises on how to process difficult emotions and physical manifestations in order to to cultivate the inner resources necessary to deal with recurring memories of trauma. When we are triggered, Richo writes, “we are being bullied by our own unfinished business.” Explore what your body’s knee-jerk reactions can teach you. Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing acts as a guide to your body's powerful responses, helping you to remain calm under pressure and discover the key to emotional healing.

Mindful Loving

Mindful Loving
Author: Henry Grayson
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 308
Release: 2004-03-08
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9781592400614
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In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Henry Grayson shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones. Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for over thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, which stem from our thoughts and beliefs and mistaken ideas about our own identities, Grayson creates a whole new framework—one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet—in which to view intimacy.

When Love Meets Fear

When Love Meets Fear
Author: Richo, David
Publisher: Paulist Press
Total Pages: 222
Release: 2022
Genre: Religion
ISBN: 1587689723
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Everyone is afraid. Sometimes fear is inappropriate and unnecessary. At other times, we have good reason to be afraid. But in every case, fear reduces our ability to be ourselves. It convinces us we shouldn’t take chances or risks. This book is for people who want to let go of unreasonable fear or act more creatively in the face of reasonable fear. It explores the roots of fear—the fear of change, of self-disclosure, of giving and receiving, of being alone. Beneath all of these is the greatest fear of all: the fear of loving and being loved. This 25th anniversary edition speaks of the enduring message of the book and this new edition has been greatly updated and expanded to include more contemporary developments in psychology and current events. Every chapter of the book has been rewritten and revised with a new audience in mind. Some new sections have been added and existing sections revised. This revised and updated edition reflects the author’s growing understanding of the ageless concern in our lives—becoming free from fear so that we can be more resourceful in our life.

You Are Not What You Think

You Are Not What You Think
Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 193
Release: 2015-12-29
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0834803232
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You and your ego: how to develop strong self-confidence without becoming an egotist—so you can be happy with who you are and make others love you too How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life—yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don’t worry; Dave Richo has the answers. You Are Not What You Think shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving. The key is to acknowledge your ego and to be kind to it, before you ultimately learn to let it go. As with all Dave’s books, this one is full of examples from mythology, psychology, and religion, with plenty of exercises and practical advice.