67 People I'd Like To Slap

67 People I'd Like To Slap
Author: Ian Collins
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
Total Pages: 294
Release: 2017-04-25
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 178590227X

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67 People I'd Like to Slap is one man's journey through the labyrinthine world of human angst and annoyance. The comedy writer, broadcaster and journalist Ian Collins lists, exposes and mocks that irritating contingent of the human race whose job, it seems, is to make life just a tad more infuriating than it needs to be. From psychics to exotic pet owners, Brits using chopsticks and over-35s at music festivals, through to middle-class protesters, elderly people in small cars and the billion cringe-crimes that are committed on social media every day (plus a healthy dose of well-known names too), Collins's often brutal but hilarious search into the pit of human idiocy leaves few stones unturned. He also addresses some of life's most serious questions: - Is Jeremy Clarkson part of a completely different gene pool? - What happens when you upset every Beyoncé fan on the planet? - Why is Andrew Marr's sofa an affront to intelligent thinking? - How could a nice guy like Benedict Cumberbatch annoy anyone? - Has social media shrunk our brains? - What happens to a sense of shame when men visit the gym? Part polemic and part diary, Collins spent a year documenting all those areas (and people) that could bug the hell out of the calmest of souls. Armed only with a sensible pen, notepad and a standard High Street blood pressure monitor, he sets out to create the ultimate list. In the author's words, 67 People I'd Like to Slap is the non-negotiable oracle of all things bamboozling when it comes to human behaviour - the definitive guide that no sane person could ever argue against. Or could you...?

Not in Front of the Corgis

Not in Front of the Corgis
Author: Brian Hoey
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
Total Pages: 194
Release: 2011-10-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1849542481

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The Windsors are England's most famous family, but what are they really like when they're out of the public gaze? Behind closed doors in every Royal residence, from Buckingham Palace to Clarence House, there are two families - one upstairs and one down - and nobody knows a Royal quite like a Royal servant, intimately acquainted as they are with every quirk, foible and eccentricity. And there are a fair few! This is the inside story of the Royal Family through the eyes of those who know them best, a sneak peek behind the ermine-trimmed curtains to reveal what they really get up to in their spare time. Are they just like us? Or are they are a world apart? Here are the answers to everything we've ever wondered about the Royals: which programmes does the Queen watch on TV? What music did the Queen Mother listen to? Who can drive and who can't? What is it like to attend a dinner party thrown by Charles and Camilla? Who are the most popular (and most unpopular!) Royals to work for and why? Not in Front of the Corgis is the real Upstairs Downstairs - a unique and fascinating collection of all the secrets you ever wanted to know about the Royal Family.

Grave Tidings

Grave Tidings
Author: Paul Berra
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
Total Pages: 188
Release: 2016-10-04
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1785901443

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"You see! This is how you die." - Coco Chanel "Shoot straight, you bastards! Don't make a mess of it!" - Breaker Morant "If any of you have a message for the devil, give it to me, for I am about to meet him!" - Lavinia Fisher "I am dying. Please... bring me a toothpick. " - Alfred Jarry Funny, reflective, scornful or delirious, we are fascinated by famous last words because, humanity in extremis, they seem to tell us something about ourselves. Featuring lovers, killers, artists, traitors, spies, rulers, poets and pariahs, this thoughtful volume brings together the hedonists and the fatalists, the pragmatists and the optimists in a collection of famous last utterances - and the stories behind them - from throughout history.

A Little Life

A Little Life
Author: Hanya Yanagihara
Publisher: Vintage
Total Pages: 833
Release: 2016-01-26
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0804172706

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2014-09-09
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0345549988

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

The Immoralist

The Immoralist
Author: André Gide
Publisher: Courier Corporation
Total Pages: 210
Release: 2011-12-08
Genre: Foreign Language Study
ISBN: 0486426955

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A travelling hedonist attempts to transcend the limitations of conventional morality by surrendering to his appetites in this well-known work by a master of modern French literature. Much acclaimed for his perception and purity of style, André Gide (1869-1951) received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1947. In The Immoralist, his classic examination of individual freedom and identity, he fuses autobiographical elements with both biblical and classical symbolism. Stanley Appelbaum skillfully preserves the passion and intensity of the original in his new English translation.

Slapboxing with Jesus

Slapboxing with Jesus
Author: Victor LaValle
Publisher: Vintage
Total Pages: 177
Release: 2011-07-20
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0307803384

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Twelve original and interconnected stories in the traditions of Junot Díaz and Sherman Alexie. Victor D. LaValle's astonishing, violent, and funny debut offers harrowing glimpses at the vulnerable lives of young people who struggle not only to come of age, but to survive the city streets. In "ancient history," two best friends graduating from high school fight to be the one to leave first for a better world; each one wants to be the fortunate son. In "pops," an African-American boy meets his father, a white cop from Connecticut, and tries not to care. And in "kids on colden street," a boy is momentarily uplifted by the arrival of a younger sister only to discover that brutality leads only to brutality in the natural order of things. Written with raw candor, grit, and a cautious heart, slapboxing with jesus introduces an exciting and bold new craftsman of contemporary fiction. LaValle's voices echo long after their stories are told.

Flipped

Flipped
Author: Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher: Ember
Total Pages: 259
Release: 2003-05-13
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0375825444

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A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

Under the Hood

Under the Hood
Author: Stan Slap
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 289
Release: 2015-03-10
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 0698176235

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You can't sell it outside if you can't sell it inside. You want maximum business performance? Look under the hood and you’ll find your employee culture: it is the power that drives the enterprise engine. To harness that rumbling power you’ve got to solve the mystery of what an employee culture actually is, how it operates and how to move it forward. These are the keys that this book will put right in your hands. Renowned business culture expert Stan Slap knows the difference between understanding your employees and understanding your employee culture. The distinction isn’t semantics; it’s the key to whether your strategies will succeed or fail. This myth-busting book reveals why an employee culture is an independent organism with its own rules, beliefs, and motivations—and the power to make or break any management plan (and any manager right along with it). Slap shows you how to get whatever you want from your employee culture, whether it’s improved accountability, innovation, flexibility, resilience, energy, loyalty, or trust. Along the way he solves mysteries that have puzzled managers since the first Mesopotamian farmer hired some help, including: Why does an employee culture really resist change? What does it care about more than money? Why does it respond to leadership differently than to management? How does it talk to itself, and what does it mean when it won’t talk to you? Why are company values the most dangerous threat to gaining its trust? If you have a wonderful employee culture, this book will help you scale it. If you have a troubled employee culture, this book will help you fix it. If you have an employee culture under pressure, this book will help you ease it. If you have a new employee culture, this book will help you shape it. And if you are investing in a company, this book will help you protect your greatest purchasable asset. Under the Hood is informed by immaculate research, including surveys of more than 15,000 employees from companies the world over. It’s packed with original tactics that have driven performance for many organizations and countless managers. And it includes jaw-dropping inside stories of employee cultures from the likes of Samsung, Oracle, Progressive, CNN during wartime, Paul McCartney’s band, and the Super Bowl film crew. It’s all delivered in classic Stan Slap style: profound and provocative, heartfelt and often hysterical. This is not simply a management book; it is the business case for humanity. Management advice doesn’t get realer or more important than this.

5,000 Great One Liners

5,000 Great One Liners
Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
Total Pages: 355
Release: 2012-09-25
Genre: Reference
ISBN: 1849544824

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My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.